Are You Addicted to Love?

Are you addicted to love or simply the idea of love? 

More specifically are you addicted to a person? 

Does the sun rise and set in their eyes?

Does the fear of losing them put you into a panic?

Does your relationship feel one sided?

 

Are you constantly wondering how you can please them?

Are you preoccupied thinking about them for a significant amount of time everyday?

Are you anxious waiting for them to call?

 

Do you expect them to take care of you and please you and fill you up?

Do you wonder what they are doing when they aren’t with you?

Do you feel much better when you know they are with you?

Do you put off other activities to be with them?

Do you panic if you don’t hear from them for a couple of days?

Do you believe your love interest or partner should fill your every need?

Do you idolize your partner?

Do you seek your partner’s approval?

Do you feel that it would be difficult if not impossible to go on living without them?

Do you feel insecure in the relationship?

 

Do you find yourself making demands on your partner or starting fights because they don’t seem to be able to meet your needs no matter how many times you ask them to? 

Do you feel that even though you are in a relationship with that special person, somehow, you are still alone? 

Do you think that even though you should be happy, you aren’t?

 

These are all signs that you are addicted to love? If you are a love addict it is more than likely that you are in a relationship with someone who is there but at the same time not there. They maintain a certain distance, not a healthy distance, but a distance that you can feel inside? You feel no matter how close you think you are they have a wall up that is impossible to penetrate and you feel it is your job to get inside them. You want to merge and the more you try the more they back off or clam up, or they are constantly busy with work, their friends, sports, TV, computer games or worse, some kind of addiction and when you ask for attention your request is an annoying disturbance? You know something is wrong, but you can’t put your finger on it and you think if I can just help them to see what it is everything will be perfect and we will live happily ever after. You think if they just spend more time with me, pay more attention to me or love me the way I love them everything will be just fine and getting them to love you feels like a mission?

 

Does your love for them feel like an addiction?

 

If it does it probably is and while movies and television dramas romanticize the kind of feelings you are having it is important to know that a relationship that causes internal stress is not a healthy one and this was news to me. I thought what I was feeling and the way I was acting were all normal aspects of every relationship and that relationships by their very nature were hard work, and eventually unsatisfying, but it doesn’t have to be that way. You can be happy and free of the annoying discomfort that you may be experiencing and the place to start is by understanding what is going on inside you and the people you choose to be in relationships with. Rather than reinvent the wheel I have decided to suggest a book which I believe describes my behavior and the behavior of the men I am attracted to in great detail and it is one of the most accurate and complete studies I have read, (and I have read a lot of them). Both men and women can benefit from reading this book. I recommend it highly!