Do you feel like you are always dating the same dude? I mean sure he looks different and in some ways he acts different, but ultimately he is very much like every other guy you’ve dated. You keep asking yourself why does this always happen to me. Why do I end up in the same situation?
Sometimes the best thing to do is look at your past relationships, and I don’t mean mull them over in your mind. I mean put them under a microscope. Start at the beginning of your dating life and write down the name of every guy you ever went out with. Write about how you met, how long you waited before you slept with him, what his character traits were, what his family was like and why the relationship ended. Note also how you were in the relationship and what attracted you to him. Also write down anything else that occurs to you about each relationship. It can be a grueling exercise, but one with lasting benefits.
I have recently done this and the experience was illuminating. It seems I keep choosing the same guys over and over again, almost subconsciously. Writing about my past relationships has moved me to a place of realization about what is really going on inside. I hope you will challenge yourself and try this exercise. If you do I would love to hear what you learned.
Here is a short list of what I learned:
I have sex before I really get to know someone
I date men who are dishonest, unfaithful, charming and attractive
I date men who are not financially responsible and I often support them or take care of them in some way
I date men who are illusive and intelligent
I often drink too much when in relationships
I date men whose family life was very unstable when they were growing up
My beliefs about what a relationship should be are not based in reality (more on this in another post)
So tell me what did you discover?