According to this study, and it seems there is always another one . . . these are the four signs that a relationship is in trouble. It does makes sense, but it also seems obvious, at least to me that if all of these signals are present there is no communication taking place in the relationship. Do we need an expert to point this out to us? Perhaps we do.
I was thinking about defensiveness when I came upon the older study above, because contrary to popular belief, defense may not always be the best offense. I don’t really know what that means, except I think it has something to do with football. But, I notice in myself that my initial reaction is always to defend. It feels like I have to be right no matter what the situation and it has interfered in many personal relationships. This comes from my childhood bullshit as does most of my, “stuff”, and as I get older I notice it more and more and I don’t like it. It doesn’t allow me to see the other person’s point of view and it makes me very tense most of the time. So now what I want to do is stop. Since defense for me also includes a quick reaction time, as if I have to respond immediately, without thinking and just say the first thing that comes to me, then later, almost always, I regret what I have said. But then it’s too late isn’t it? I have hurt a lot of people in the process of protecting myself and it has not enhanced my life or my well being.
Has this happened to you?
Have you noticed these signs in bad relationships?
Inquiring minds want to know!
It seems there will be no Monkey-Business unless the male pays for it, Hmm? Another monkey-sex-watching scientist has determined that male Macaques are more likely to get laid if they first groom their intended mate. I am not sure how this scientist construed grooming as a form of payment. I consider it foreplay and I won’t put out without it. Seems the female Macaques and I have a lot in common!