I am pretty opinionated when it comes to committing adultery. Maybe it’s because in almost every relationship I have had my partner has cheated. I’m beginning to think it’s just me, maybe I am not doing enough to keep the relationship together. I know their was a Kinsey Study (I think that’s the correct spelling) done years ago that found 7 out of 10 men will cheat on their wives or girlfriends given time. I know I have written on this topic before, but I recently came upon an email written to a relationship specialist that floored me, it really did.
“. . . I divorced four years ago when I found out my ex-husband had kept a mistress. It broke my heart completely, and I could not forgive him. . . But strangely, four years later, the same situation comes up except I am the other girl this time. There is this married man who’s been very interested in me. His wife has a three-month-old baby. I know it’s immoral, but our chemistry has been unbelievable. He’s even better than my ex. Our casual sex was really good each time. . . I had tried to keep a distance from him, but he can’t help seeing me whenever he can. I let him know I see other guys too, and he lets me know he keeps seeing other girls, too. But then again, he sees me whenever. . . Funny I used to despise those who cheat, but after a few times, I don’t feel too guilty about it. But at the same time, I can forgive my husband for what he did because now I understand why he did it. . . It’s circle of life and I’m running around it, there is no right or wrong, you just take it or leave it, is that right?” (I did edit this email to keep it brief)
Okay, WTF is the “circle of life”? Is she saying what comes around goes around. Since she got cheated on it’s okay for her to do it too? After my initial pissed-off-ness at yet another woman’s blatant disregard for her lover’s wife. I started to think about just how unstable and insecure she would have to be to participate in that kind of deception. I am really, honestly curious to know what the attraction is. The relationship specialist thought it had something to do with wanting what you can’t have or the passion inherent in the forbidden. I cannot understand it because I have never done it, but since it happens so often there must be some golden carrot I am not aware of. If you have been in this situation, and are willing to enlighten me please do? How do you justify it? Seriously?
I also have found a book that covers a topic I have never seen. So I ordered it, just another to add to my collection of non-fiction, it’s called: “You Can’t Have Him, He’s Mine“. Looks like a primer into the minds of women who would like to take your mate and it also highlights what leads up to his interest in being taken. The author is an Attorney, so it should be an interesting read. Maybe I’ll learn something.