I think popular opinion would dictate that taking back and Ex is NEVER a good idea. I was reading a great post at What’s Love Got to do With it and this really got me thinking. I have never known any couple who have reconciled to stay together. Rather what happens is just more of the same. They take their Ex back and the original problems that caused the split continue.
I was personally involved in a relationship where this happened for 8 years. It seemed like he couldn’t make up his mind. I caught him cheating twice and at his prolonged insistence I took him back. When I say insistence I mean leaving gifts at my door and sending cards and begging and pleading and calling. I later found out he made up stories to cover his infidelity wherein it appeared as if it was only a one time thing. Finally at the end of one of these scenes I told him the only way I would take him back was if we got married, (stupid I know). So he got me an engagement ring, but then later said he did not realize an engagement ring was a promise to marry. “Once a liar always a liar”, is my mantra now. I learned a lot from my relationship with him, but I spent 8 long years doing it.
I ask myself now why I did it. Why did it take me so long to really see who this person was? I used to think it was because I “just loved him”. But I truly believe that love and pain do not coexist. I have found this out by looking at my relationships with my friends or my daughter. They are not fraught with pain. We have our problems, but we work them out. There is an underlying trust and respect that accompanies our interactions. Many times those relationships build me up and I feel happy inside when I am with them. They accept me and love me no matter what. This is what I will look for in my relationships with men from now on.
Have you ever seen a reconciliation that worked?