So you have been dating a guy for some time and it’s becoming more and more obvious that he is very comfortable with his present situation and you are not. In fact you are very ready to settle down and start a family, or maybe you just want to, “seal-the-deal”. But how do you entice someone to purpose? Many women dream of the day a wonderful man will fall deeply in love with them and then propose marriage in some TV movie, romantic way. But what if it’s not happening? The big question is, should you give him an ultimatum?
It seems to me that ultimatums create more problems then they solve. I mean let’s consider this, if the man just agrees to marry you because you pressured him, won’t you always be wondering why he didn’t think of it on his own. Won’t you always feel like you forced his hand and the only reason he did it was because he was afraid to lose you, or even worse he was waffling because he wasn’t 100 percent sure, and that his eyes might always be open for “the one” ?
Experts in this field counsel women to give the relationship a year, and if you want to marry and the man you want to marry hasn’t proposed by then it’s time to start looking for other options. You don’t have to be coy about it. You can be up-front and tell him honestly and directly what your goals in life are and that one of them is to marry, but be nice about it, like you are talking to a friend, like you are talking to someone you would potentially spend your life with. Just don’t make it a demand, a final notice or a condition. Yeah, tell him how you really feel and then let him sit with it. This is why it’s probably NOT a good idea to live with a man before marriage, because then if you want to marry and he doesn’t the whole situation becomes like a mini-divorce and nobody wants to deal with that crap! If marriage is your goal then simply date and have a good time until you find that person who wants to marry you and most of all keep your options open! Never assume anything and never think that someone has the same expectations as you do unless you have discussed it and are both clear about the outcome you hope to achieve!