. . . and announces that he’s got a surprise for you. He greets you with a kiss on the mouth that lingers a little longer than expected. He hands you a bouquet of fresh Spring flowers, their fragrance sweetens the air and you step back. His smile is dashing. It isn’t difficult to tell what is on his mind and your thoughts speed up imagining what the next few hours will bring. It’s been a long time since he’s come on this strong. It feels nice. It’s more than nice and the heat moves through you. Then you take a second glance and notice his right arm is behind his back weighed down with something large, is it a box? And your mind wanders again, “He brought me a present, is it lingerie?” So you tease him, “What are you holding, what did you buy me?” But he holds back, prolonging the moment, making you wait. He lures you to the bedroom, kicks off his shoes and puts the package on your pillow. Then he starts to undress, first his tie, then his jacket and then you take over opening his shirt one button at a time until you get to his belt and he begins to undress you. You lay down together on his side of the bed, the package forgotten for the moment. He’s never made love to you like this before . . .
Then he stops and hands you the present, it’s wrapped in white, shiny paper, but there’s no bow and it’s heavy, too heavy to be what you expected and as your curiosity mounts you also don’t care what’s inside. You put the gift down and start to kiss him, but he insists that you open it. He’s so excited that you can’t help yourself. Caught up in the moment your rip off the paper and throw it on the floor. But, what? Are you seeing this right. You look at the box and you look up at him, he’s gleaming and you look back again, not able to comprehend what the hells is going on and you read the words, ANAL INTRUDER 2000. And you ask yourself, What is an anal intruder? He is almost panting and you don’t want to destroy the moment, but you have no idea what to do. “Does he want me to stick this thing up his ass or does he want to stick it up mine?”
The passion seeps out of you before you can ask and you wonder why you didn’t know this about him before?
What would you do?