When I logged on this morning I was overwhelmed by everyone’s kind words and thoughts and encouragement and I wanted you all to know how grateful I am and how loved I feel for having gotten them. I wish you all love and health and happiness!
Archive for August, 2008
Normally on Sundays I write or try to find something that is serene or uplifting or fun, but today, sadly that will not be the case. If you hadn’t noticed I haven’t been around all week, and I am not one of those bloggers who has pre-written posts all ready in advance and dated for publication early, no…. I’m a procrastinator and this week I have been away preparing for surgery. For over 10 years I have had uterine fibroids and over this time they have done what fibroid tumors do, they have grown. They have grown so large in fact that I have developed a fruit basket in my womb, one fruit the size of a grapefruit is now really bothering me and I decided about a month ago to have surgery to remove it and many more that are causing me trouble. Allow me to demonstrate in pictures.
Nobody actually knows why some women get fibroids and others don’t or why some women have them and have no symptoms. It is speculated that estrogen dominance is the culprit, or genetics and while I have researched alternatives for surgery for 10 years I have found nothing that works to shrink them. I found relief from pain and bleeding using acupuncture, but never a reduction in size, and the treatment is very costly. I have paid around $200.00 a week for treatments, and while they helped me they never actually solved the problem. I have attempted to use diet as well and what this has done instead of shrinking the tumors it has shrunk me to the point where I can now easily feel them when I lay flat. It’s odd and strange and kind of creepy and it reminds me of being pregnant, except I’m not.
So after waiting far to long to take action I find myself in a situation that requires an open abdominal surgery, which frankly scares the shit out of me, but my life has become unmanageable and I feel like I am option-less, except for having a hysterectomy which I refuse to do. If you are wondering why or if you just want a female anatomy lesson or if you are considering a hysterectomy go to the HERS foundation website and watch the anatomy lesson to discover the true function of the uterus and to discover the side effects of hysterectomy. If you have already had a hysterectomy and are having symptoms you cannot understand or if your doctor is telling you your symptoms are all in your head you may want to watch this to understand why. Many times post-hysterectomy symptoms do not show-up for years after the procedure and many women never make the connection between their symptoms and the cause. The site is somewhat radical or at least by society’s standards or general medical (gyno) standards because women are told that if your uterus is bad just remove it, or part of it, but the side effects are well hidden by most doctors, or sadly most doctors simply don’t know. I would like to support informed consent and fell that the only reason to have the uterus removed is if it’s cancerous, just like any other diseased organ, but fibroids are not cancerous and if you catch them early they can be removed without much trouble or major surgery. Unfortunately most women who have fibroids are told to wait and watch and see what happens, but I can tell you what happens, they grow until they are unbearable to live with and then you have to search far and wide for a surgeon who will offer you anything but a hysterectomy. Also fibroids continue to develop until age 40 and then no new ones usually appear, the reason women are told that they recur after surgery to remove them is because they all were not removed to begin with, especially if you are told to take a drug called lupron which shrinks them and then some are too small to be seen and removed. Also, it’s a fallacy that fibroids will stop growing after menopause, another reason I for one, was told to wait since I am so close to that age, many women continue to grow them after menopause and I have read a couple of stories of women in their 70’s who got them or just discovered them.
So, if I had it to do over I would have waited until I was 41 or so and then I would have had all of my fibroids removed, but hindsight being what it is, I didn’t. So on Tuesday morning at 7:30 am I go into the hospital for major surgery and I’m afraid. I hope that the pain of surgery and recovery (6 weeks) will solve this problem once and for all, so I can live the rest of my life not ruled by my uterus! Needless to say I will not be around much blogging, probably for about 3 weeks, but you never know. If you don’t see me posting you know why!
I hope everyone else is having a fabulous Sunday. I will miss you all, and until then, be well, be happy and love as much as you can!
Sometimes words just aren’t as impressive a photographs. And for today let’s share some beautiful visual stimulus. I’m posting some pictures of the Bejing Olympic Gardens, because a garden is a nice place to go when you want to relax, stop thinking for a while, stop talking for a while and maybe even stop reading for a while. You can go to any garden, anytime and find some peace, you can describe it if you want to and even take pictures of it if you want to, but it will pale in comparison to actually being there. Since I doubt many of us will be able to actually visit the Bejing Olympic Gardens here’s a little peek into what the look like and a glimpse at the creative imagination of the creators. The Gardens are impressive. Here’s to finding a garden where we all can go for some solace!