Archive for October, 2008

In a recent study, conducted by someone out there, it has been determined that most pets absolutely detest Halloween. The 69.4 animals questioned, most of whom were dogs BTW, could give you a list a mile long as to why. Most felines had no comment except to admit that they couldn’t wait for all the rucus to Fucking just end,  and then they sauntered off to a distant hiding place to lick something.

Top 9 Reasons Canines Cited for Their Dislike of this Festive and Fun Event Were:

  1. Canine Stress Disorder (CSD) for having to exert so much effort guarding the house when Strangers came to the door.
  2. Enlarged vocal cords and accompanying sore throat as a result of barking and growling. It was noted that consuming copious amounts of water did not help.
  3. Urinary problems and frequent wetting from drinking all that water! Pet owners also complained.
  4. Everyone gets to eat except them. They wondered who made up that stupid, F-ing rule about no chocolate for dogs.
  5. Children who point and grab to get in that touchy – feely thing.
  6. The freaks at the door who look stupid, but who think they look “really cool“, Duh, they don’t!
  7. The stink of rotten pumpkins. It never gets out of your nose.
  8. Constant chaffing and itching from being costumed without fabric softener.
  9. And Finally, most pets surveyed said that after several hours in costume they began to become disoriented, losing their perspective on the primary self. This manifestation is known as Pet Identity Crisis Syndrome, (PICS) wherein your pet believes he is someone other than who he or she is. It is very confusing to the animal who often wants to take on a new more flamboyant persona. Some pets even refused to be undressed and would run and hide and whimper in an attempt to avoid it.

Pictured below are a few of those willing pets that were surveyed and who agreed to be photographed. They are undergoing pet therapy with a qualified pet whisperer who helps them return to their former selves. If you believe your pet may be suffering from this disorder please do not attempt to reorient him by yourself, always seek a qualified pet whisperer.

Many were heard to say, “This just isn’t funny, I know I look funny, but it isn’t funny!” They walked off mumbling that they would never be the same and mentioned they would also like to have more choice and variety in wardrobe options.

The study concluded that before you dress-up your pet you may want to be informed of the possible consequenses to his or her individual consciousness!

Keeping this in mind ~

Have a Happy Halloween!

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