I am someone who loves to ponder and indulge in the intricacies of the human condition, especially as they relate to love. I intend to gratify myself here. If you are easily shocked, have an aversion to curse words, alternative love-styles or are only interested in happy endings you may want to skip over this blog. Also, I have simple-minded grasp of linguistics and often can’t spell.
I came to blog about my addiction to love and how I am overcoming that problem. I have written a story about what happened and would like to post it here. I am tempted to start another blog just to rant about what is going on with me now and issues I feel unable to comprehend. Most of the time I am depressed except when I am pissed off and I think that’s because getting mad feels a little better than feeling depressed. I hope it’s not all doom and gloom, but it could be. I think it will mostly be cynical, but that’s the best I can do right now.
I have decided to publish this blog in order to honor all women or men who have ever been or felt they were hopelessly in love with someone else. I publish it also to honor all of my dear friends who have been gently nudging me to get my writing out to the world.
What is love?
Is love blind or guilelessly indiscriminant?
Why do we continue to engage in relationships that frankly, suck?
When those relationships end why, in the name of God would we want that other person back?
This is my story. The un-love story!
My experience in love has been:
Apparently my email address hasn’t been working so if you want to speak to me privately please send mail to: loveobsessed69 @ yahoo dot com!
Update ~ June 29, 2008:
I created this page on October 13, 2007 and I’m not feeling the same anymore. I hate to be cliche, but time can heal all wounds, well most of them anyway and first I would like to say that I don’t think love stinks. I think love can smell funny sometimes. I also believe that actual love is not what its purported to be in the movies or in romance novels and one of the reasons that relationships fail is because we have the mistaken belief that it does. True love, actual love is very, very different and it requires a measure of commitment to the relationship that to me seems rare in a world where instant gratification is more important than long term gratification. Relationships need to be nurtured and we cannot expect them to last if we turn away from our partner when there is trouble or when it gets boring. Cuz it’s going to get boring and then it’s going to bet better again and arguments will happen and illness may happen and money issues will happen, but if you stick together instead of falling apart you will be able to have a long standing love affair, it just won’t be like it seems in the movies, where we never see the ever after! I will be the first to say get out of a relationship if you don’t have a real partner, you know, the kind who supports you, uplifts you, makes you laugh, someone you can cry with and who doesn’t judge, criticize or slap you around. They can help you see yourself clearly and they see you clearly and love you for that reason and maybe in spite of it! I also believe you should have a lot in common, especially in the bedroom because you want to be able to play together and be open to express that love physically. I am still Seriously Single and I’ve chosen to be single for a reason and this is something I’ve learned in the past couple of years. If I don’t love myself I will never be able to choose a partner who loves me. Because when I don’t love myself I might just settle for the next loser who comes along because I am afraid of being alone forever and fear should never be dating motivation. I’ve decided that I want a relationship that will last and in order for that to happen I have to know what I want and also be able to choose who can make that happen with me. I am absolutely tired of cycling through relationships with the wrong people and wasting my precious time on men who have no fucking idea what I’m talking about even though they think they do. I didn’t finish the story I set out to write on here because I’m not in the mood to revisit that pain and humiliation. I don’t want to honor or dishonor in words something that I once held precious, but simply didn’t work out because I chose the wrong man again. He wasn’t right for me and I doubt he will ever be right for someone else but maybe he will and that’s okay with me because I am no longer stuck in an unsatisfying situation which frees me up to find a better more satisfying one and so with hindsight being what it is I feel lucky to have escaped mostly unscathed. I’m just not interested in writing about it now. When I’m ready to date I will and I will update here or maybe even start another blog or rename this one, but in the meantime I’m just going to write and post and if it’s about relationships it will be what’s on my mind and I may be pissed off or I may just be in awe of the other relationships I have that are not romantic, but where true love is demonstrated to me in a real way not what I imagined to be true about romance, because we can find love whenever we look for it, it is all around! And It doesn’t have to come from a man!