Archive for the ‘wisdom’ Category

I’ve been inspired to write again, at least today by another blog post I came across on Facebook. It’s called Single Dad Laughing and I am responding to a post he wrote called “The Cure for Perfection” I was deeply moved the response to his post and have sent him an email requesting he share my blog post, but either way I want to share it here as I believe it to be the one true thing I have learned. I am also sharing the links I have sent to him that have provided me with the most amount of self reflection, self growth and self love, helping me move out of fear into a place better suited for the perfect humans we already are!

So with out further ado here it is:

Hi Dan,

I didn’t follow the rules or guidelines you suggested. I never do. I hate rules of any kind, but I hope that you will repost this message because I have been very drawn to share it with your readers because the most important thing we can know at this time is that we are already perfect in everyway. When we come from a place of knowing that we are already perfect and keep reminding ourselves of that we are freed up to look deeper.

Perfection is all that can exist . . .

Nothing imperfect exists . . .

And no, I am not a swami . . .

So what does that mean? Does it mean we are perfect in our so called imperfection, yes! Does it mean that perfection is our continual state of being? Yes! I am writing to tell you that you are perfect exactly as you are now, every little ugly spot or bad mistake or error in judgment or rotten word you cursed at the guy going way too slow in front of you is perfection at it’s finest. Yup, you are perfect, so you can stop worrying about being any more perfect and start focusing on what makes you feel uncomfortable, what makes you afraid and that which you choose to change about yourself. You see the thing is, perfectionism is not the enemy, it could be a symptom of something you don’t want to look at, like smelly feet or a rotten tooth, but more likely it’s about being afraid, because fear my friend is the enemy. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear that your pizza will be burned on the bottom. Seriously, think about it. What have you feared today? Good Lord, make a list and you will see that fear is the ultimate buzz kill, because without it we would just roll along taking things as they come and dealing with them as they happen, not before, because the other half of it is projecting the fear of what could happen without ever really knowing that it could. This constant thinking and all knowing voice in your head that says it has all the answers, but we know differently, don’t we? Every single one of us has had a situation or two turn out exactly the opposite of what we projected and we’ve said to ourselves, “Wow, I never thought it would turn out like that!” And you were happily surprised. We have seen horrible, terrible situations like child abductions turn into causes that have saved the lives of thousands. Open your mind for a minute and you will see the past does not equal the future and your future can change in a minute by simply asking yourself one question, what am I afraid of? If that answer brings up more fear ask another, why am I afraid of that? The more questions you ask the more answers you will receive and so on and so on until a solutions is found, a lesson is learned and a deep knowing that perfection is all around us is embraced. When we take a concept like being perfect and turn it into the enemy at the gate we never, ever get to the truth. We, all of us, are afraid and that’s perfect too, because when we see that it’s just fear that holds us we can shine a light on what is really making us uncomfortable, confront it and then deal with it. But we gotta look at the ugly before we can see the beauty, and I can tell you I have seen a lot of ugly in my life. I have uncovered a lot of what I am afraid of and faced it square in the face. It ain’t easy, it isn’t pretty and it requires constant examination of my own thoughts, my own fears and what makes me tick. I have learned that I am perfect just as I am, with all my flaws and fear of failure and fear that you might read this and think I’m crazy or long winded or horrible at grammar, but I had to face that fear and share this with you because I am awed by your courage to ask for others to help others in a world of seeming strangers and often strangeness, that I see now as perfect and beautiful and with wild, endless possibilities. There is nothing that cannot be solved or worked through or used for the benefit of teaching others, helping others and showing compassion.  I would like to applaud you and send you this note of gratitude for reminding me how far I have come and for allowing me to share with you some resources that have helped me along the way with the hope that your voice and exposure will be the vehicle by which others can find them.


Journaling Resource: Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way: http://www.theartistsway.com/

Maia Berens an extraordinary life coach: http://allaboutlifecoaching.com/

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Read Full Post »


These words came to me last night and I am sharing them with you. May they have meaning in your life!

When the lighted path grows dim
hold a candle against the darkness
then speak my name
I will be there for you

When the flame flickers and dies
feel your way against the darkness
then call out my name
I will be there for you

When you can not feel your way
remember the lighted path
and whisper my name
I will be there for you

When you can not remember your way
imagine the path lighted before you
say my name
and I will be there for you
I will be there for you like a foothold
Even in your blackest night
Like a hand to shake you
to awaken you
for even when you slumber
I am here

Read Full Post »

find a husband

Okay, Okay, now I have seen everything!

The writer says that women should market themselves and give themselves a “brand” like Proctor & Gamble. Holy Hell, what has this dating world come too? And how hard up we gonna get? Note, there is no such book for men. Indeed, I could not bring myself to buy this book, but decided instead to go on to Amazon and read the reviews, which were great by the way, and I got all the info I needed, including a big heads up on how women should lower their standards and keep a guy who is a fixer upper, cuz apparently men are now a commodity like orange juice. I couldn’t stop laughing.

This is the same author whose article I mentioned yesterday who did statistics on why men choose women. Crap ladies I may be on the wrong side of the fence here, but I’m gonna say that human beings both men and women, should never except less than the full package and here’s a big surprise, there are enough of each to go around, so never fear. Also, and I think this is very important . . . it is better to be single than to accept that which leads to unhappiness. If you aren’t feeling happy and energized everytime when your man is around then you might want to look at why. If he doesn’t support you and love you and lend his hand when you need it you may want to ask why.

Just be your beautiful self and you will attract a beautiful someone to share your life with and in the meantime have FUN!

Read Full Post »


The entire time I was growing up everyone told me that I was “TOO” nice. Since I was nice I didn’t say it aloud, but I thought, “What the Fuck does that mean?” I’m too nice as if it were a bad thing. How can being nice be a bad thing? Now nice is evil too. So I didn’t stop being nice. Now after many years of being nice I can see how it could be detrimental to my health. I doesn’t hurt anyone else, cause they have the benefit of my niceness but it does hurt me, especially if I am nice while assuming because I am nice everyone else will be just like me… NOT!

Nope. I have learned that most people are not nice. Most people, (and when I say most here I mean 80% or so), are looking out for themselves, to see what they can get from you or simply aren’t nice because they are afraid that if they put themselves out there and give it won’t be returned or they will get hurt. The whole issue is based around fear and lack and it is just pissing me off today. Pissing me off beyond measure because I am more the exception then the rule. This doesn’t surprise me it simply angers me. I can see it all so clearly, you know? If everyone were not so afraid of getting hurt or used or taken advantage of or whatever the fuck then surely we would just automatically do nice things for others, since it is part of our fundamental nature. Or maybe it isn’t I honestly have no fucking clue anymore.

What does this have to do with dating dudes, choosing dudes and dudes in general? And how did I come up with this topic? It’s a long story that goes back to a Junior High School Cafeteria and I won’t mention it now, let’s just say that when this article arrived in my email box this morning I was touched that indeed 100 men out of a thousand actually valued women who were nice! Didn’t that just make my day?! Since I have been told and am still being told that I have to be less nice. Well all I can say to that is Ah Ha, and see. At least now I know there are men who want to do more than play hard to get games, who actually value genuine qualities in a woman, and even though they are at the top of the food chain they do exist! I think we can all find delight in that!

Read Full Post »


We, the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much, for so long, with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.
Mother Teresa










Read Full Post »


All men seek some relationship to the Universal Mind, the Over-Soul, or the Eternal Spirit, which we call God. And Life reveals itself to whoever is receptive to it. That we are living in a spiritual Universe, which includes the material or physical universe, has been a conclusion of the deepest thinkers of every age. That this spiritual Universe must be one of pure Intelligence and perfect Life, dominated by Love, by Reason and by the power to create, seems an inevitable conclusion”.  ~The Science of Mind. Ernest Holmes

For as long as I can remember I have sought knowledge of the universe and have been obsessed with how things work within it. It’s been like a quest to figure it all out. I want to know why things happen. I want to control my own destiny. I also believe that in one way or another we all want the same things, some want some things more than others, but it’s pretty basic stuff, love, money, happiness, health etc. Some thoughts about the way the universe works tell us we create everything in our own reality and sometimes without knowing it we create situations we don’t like or that are seemingly difficult or painful. Some even say we create our own illnesses and this happens for reasons we can’t see yet. They say there is a bigger picture that will eventually reveal itself. They say we can find beauty in anything if we look hard enough. I suppose if you look for it you will find it. I suppose if you look for anything you can find it. I personally believe it’s about yin yang and that nothing is either good or bad it just is and this is what helps you decide how you want to view your life and the circumstances in it.

Let’s use the example of the flood that is still pouring into my house and has been for over a week now. On the one hand it has been devastating. I have lost a couple thousand dollars if not more in damage and repair fees. I have spent countless hours pumping water out of the basement and my back is killing me from lifting wet heavy boxes out of small moldy spaces. In fact I spent a whole weekend doing it and I am still not done. What’s the upside? Well I hate to admit this but I have been procrastinating for months about emptying out that basement and either selling the contents or throwing it away or donating a lot to charity and each week for the last several months I have religiously taken a big green garbage bag out to the trash. Well guess what? The process that I put into motion has taken a giant leap and now I will have it all taken care of by month’s end. If you ask my neighbors where they can find the good in this situation they might not see it the way I do, but it also has brought us all together and we are communicating and sharing ideas about how to prevent this happening in the future and these are people who might just wave hello in passing but would never really commiserate and I see this as a way of pulling a small community together and I think that is very important. Personally the whole experience is giving me a kick start in the pants to get moving with a long overdue goal and I didn’t see this in the beginning. I only saw the hassle of it. I guess I just didn’t see the big picture. This is not the first time something seemingly “bad” has been transformed into something “good” in my life. But at the same time it could all just be bullshit about me searching my mind on how to rationalize a painful experience so I can find a reason to get through it.

What are your thoughts? 

Have you ever had an experience that allowed you to see the bigger picture and if so did you think, everything happens for a reason? Or do you think these are ideas we use to placate ourselves during times of pain and stress?

Read Full Post »

I have been informed 3 times in the last 4 days that water seeks the path of least resistance and I am now convinced that the Hudson River has found it’s path in my basement.


I think I must be very much like water because I have noticed that I do it too, well most of the time, except lately in the morning when I am greeted, have been greeted the last 4 mornings by my own private lake.


Each day upon rising I make coffee, then I sneak a peek down the stairs into my basement to see if the waters have receded, since every night and all day long when I can I am sucking water out of the cockles of my house with high hopes that this time will be the last, but this morning was no different than the previous 3 and so rather than letting it build up to a point where I have to call in the fire trucks, I grit my teeth and begin the process.



So today I decided to do the math and see just exactly how long it took me to evacuate how much water from the basement, this calculation would also tell me approximately how many gallons build up over the night. This is how I figured it. I am notoriously bad at mathematical calculations so bare with me. In 45 minutes I filled up an 18 gallon shop vac 12 times. 18 X 12 = (I had to use a calculator for this) = 216 gallons of water. This does not include the gallon or 2 I was able to suck out directly with the sum pump I was using. I have learned that you can buy a low level utility pump at Lowes for about 60 bucks that will remove water down to an eighth of an inch. Taking the path of least resistance I have not gotten one in the hopes that someone will come and fix this problem before I have to spend even more money. This is working fine for now and at least I have a system.

I have also been told that the way water is seeking it’s path of least resistance into my basement is through what could possibly be an old well that was concreted off, but not completely. Here’s are some pictures of the culprit:


I don’t know, but if you ask me it’s kind of phallic isn’t it? Speaking of phallic I have had more guys parading in and out of this place since this happened than I can count. I have 3 more coming over tonight to assess the situation. This much is certain, nothing can be fixed until the waters recede and no one can tell how long that will take. I used to have a magic 8 ball to predict the future but I think I lost it in the divorce.

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »