Posts Tagged ‘self love’

I’ve been inspired to write again, at least today by another blog post I came across on Facebook. It’s called Single Dad Laughing and I am responding to a post he wrote called “The Cure for Perfection” I was deeply moved the response to his post and have sent him an email requesting he share my blog post, but either way I want to share it here as I believe it to be the one true thing I have learned. I am also sharing the links I have sent to him that have provided me with the most amount of self reflection, self growth and self love, helping me move out of fear into a place better suited for the perfect humans we already are!

So with out further ado here it is:

Hi Dan,

I didn’t follow the rules or guidelines you suggested. I never do. I hate rules of any kind, but I hope that you will repost this message because I have been very drawn to share it with your readers because the most important thing we can know at this time is that we are already perfect in everyway. When we come from a place of knowing that we are already perfect and keep reminding ourselves of that we are freed up to look deeper.

Perfection is all that can exist . . .

Nothing imperfect exists . . .

And no, I am not a swami . . .

So what does that mean? Does it mean we are perfect in our so called imperfection, yes! Does it mean that perfection is our continual state of being? Yes! I am writing to tell you that you are perfect exactly as you are now, every little ugly spot or bad mistake or error in judgment or rotten word you cursed at the guy going way too slow in front of you is perfection at it’s finest. Yup, you are perfect, so you can stop worrying about being any more perfect and start focusing on what makes you feel uncomfortable, what makes you afraid and that which you choose to change about yourself. You see the thing is, perfectionism is not the enemy, it could be a symptom of something you don’t want to look at, like smelly feet or a rotten tooth, but more likely it’s about being afraid, because fear my friend is the enemy. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear that your pizza will be burned on the bottom. Seriously, think about it. What have you feared today? Good Lord, make a list and you will see that fear is the ultimate buzz kill, because without it we would just roll along taking things as they come and dealing with them as they happen, not before, because the other half of it is projecting the fear of what could happen without ever really knowing that it could. This constant thinking and all knowing voice in your head that says it has all the answers, but we know differently, don’t we? Every single one of us has had a situation or two turn out exactly the opposite of what we projected and we’ve said to ourselves, “Wow, I never thought it would turn out like that!” And you were happily surprised. We have seen horrible, terrible situations like child abductions turn into causes that have saved the lives of thousands. Open your mind for a minute and you will see the past does not equal the future and your future can change in a minute by simply asking yourself one question, what am I afraid of? If that answer brings up more fear ask another, why am I afraid of that? The more questions you ask the more answers you will receive and so on and so on until a solutions is found, a lesson is learned and a deep knowing that perfection is all around us is embraced. When we take a concept like being perfect and turn it into the enemy at the gate we never, ever get to the truth. We, all of us, are afraid and that’s perfect too, because when we see that it’s just fear that holds us we can shine a light on what is really making us uncomfortable, confront it and then deal with it. But we gotta look at the ugly before we can see the beauty, and I can tell you I have seen a lot of ugly in my life. I have uncovered a lot of what I am afraid of and faced it square in the face. It ain’t easy, it isn’t pretty and it requires constant examination of my own thoughts, my own fears and what makes me tick. I have learned that I am perfect just as I am, with all my flaws and fear of failure and fear that you might read this and think I’m crazy or long winded or horrible at grammar, but I had to face that fear and share this with you because I am awed by your courage to ask for others to help others in a world of seeming strangers and often strangeness, that I see now as perfect and beautiful and with wild, endless possibilities. There is nothing that cannot be solved or worked through or used for the benefit of teaching others, helping others and showing compassion.  I would like to applaud you and send you this note of gratitude for reminding me how far I have come and for allowing me to share with you some resources that have helped me along the way with the hope that your voice and exposure will be the vehicle by which others can find them.


Journaling Resource: Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way: http://www.theartistsway.com/

Maia Berens an extraordinary life coach: http://allaboutlifecoaching.com/

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

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Serenity by the Sea


Serenity by a Tree


Serenity Prayer




Tranquility in Art


A Message in a Word, in a Face!


Courage in a Concept


Wisdom in a Thought . . .

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What is Goddess-ness?

Well it’s a little game I like to play when I am feeling, shitty, insecure and lonely? I ask myself, “If I were a Goddess what would I be doing right now?” I know this may seem a little childish, but would a Goddess care what anyone else thinks of her games? Certainly not! 

I have done a lot of studying and learning over the years and have often been advised to pick a particular role model who I would like to emulate. Perhaps a movie star or very successful business women, but what works for me is the archetype of the Goddess. 

When I start to go into my “stuff” I often imagine how a Goddess would handle this particular situation. Would a Goddess ever pine away over a lost love? Would a Goddess ever pick a man who was not her equal, a man who would not put her needs in the same category as his own? No!  A Goddess would live her life whether she had a man or not and in the living she would attract all kinds of wonderful men who were not intimidated by her Goddess-ness! 

What does a Goddess do?

A Goddess loves and honors herself despite any short comings she may have

A Goddess has self discipline and is not run by her emotions

A Goddess is honest

A Goddess is true to her own values

A Goddess knows her own mind and makes her own decisions

A Goddess know what she wants

A Goddess can give as well as receive

A Goddess does not over react and is not defensive

A Goddess does not seek approval from others

A Goddess trusts her instincts and follows them

A Goddess loves and respects everyone

A Goddess surrounds herself with happy healthy people who love her

A Goddess decides what she will spend her time doing

A Goddess can be an example for others

A Goddess is a natural leader

A Goddess is the creator of her own life

A Goddess knows her own boundaries and respects them

A Goddess respects the boundaries of others

A Goddess loves to play and have fun

A Goddess enjoys her own company

A Goddess loves and honors the Earth

A Goddess knows her own style

A Goddess enriches her own life and the lives of others

A Goddess knows her own gifts

A Goddess loves her own body

A Goddess enjoys her sexuality

A Goddess can handle adversity without falling apart

A Goddess pursues her own dreams

A Goddess takes care of herself

A Goddess can see the gifts others share

A Goddess is gracious

A Goddess learns from her mistakes

A Goddess learns from others

A Goddess wants to see the highest good served

A Goddess sees the big picture

A Goddess does not live in fear

A Goddess faces the world head on

A Goddess is open minded

A Goddess sees life as a learning place

A Goddess is grateful for everyone and everything in her life 

I am sure there are many more qualities a Goddess has. See if you can add some. And the next time you are feeling down ask yourself, what would my inner Goddess do!

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